Tears

This heart had broken once but now it shattered to pieces..
I've lost faith in them..
It take me years to open up but once again I left with pain
no one to be blame because of my incompetence..
people may think that they are not responsible for what other thinks of them
but I realised that I'm responsible for my action that makes what people thinks of me

The tears rundown to my cheeks..
On the last chapter, I've end it with a fullstop after the last sentence..
Now everything remain as history for me..
memory left to be remember..
no more start anew chance shall I say..
What left in the history can't be change nor be corrected
It can only be left as it is..

The Lone Ranger
with the new title of life..
I'm gonna enjoy my life to the fullest
Let it be happy and joy only to be written :)


p/s : sometimes it last in love,  but sometimes it hurt instead

The me who is wondering...

I'm bored..so bored..bored to death
DAMN bored!!
gahh..why lah laptop you rosak the time
I have so little class anjd too much free time
wai oh wai...

okay..stop that nurul..
please just stop that drama thinggy..
hehhe
the usual me lah k
an.as always..
but the great thing is..i have some
I mean a LOT of free time to do some
sefl reflecting and some critical thinking..
eh matured enough ke nk critical thinking bagai ni..
hehehe

masa bosan ini telah diluangkan
dgn ber whatsapp-ing dgn family tercinta
termasuk lah cousin yg monyet gila and merapu..
literally..no they're not monyet..
Semua terpaksa kelayan kerenah minah london
tak cukup matang tak kira masa..

   'tak reply i'm going to cry'

ayat berbaur ugutan kepada cousin2 tersayang..
hehehe
i'm a manja girl..
say what you wanna say
cause they'll love me no matter what
got that?no you dont!be jealous biaatch!
opss..joking!!

dlm ber-whatsapp bagai ni..
tetiba timbul isu fitnah dlm minda separa sedar
terfikir jugak akibat menyebarkan cerita yg kita blm pasti..
and i was wondering..
kalau kita sebarkan fitnah pada org
dh tentu lah berdosa
bila org yg mendengar berita yg kita sebarkan
menyebarkan pulak kepada org lain..
kita yg memulakan ni bershare dosa diorang..
oh mai..thats mean everytime org sebarkan
fitnah yg kita sebarkan
we gonna get share dosa jugak..
*time ni rasa bertaubat dh nk cerita psl org*

at the same time terfikir jugak..
org yg sebar fitnah ni apa dia dpt?
okay..dosa tu confirmlah..
selain tu?satisfaction is it?
satisfaction yg akhir nya memakan diri?
terlayar-layar lah jugak di kepala..
diorg ni dh terlampau bnyk pahala and confirm msk syurga
sbb tu cari time untk kumpul dosa pulak?
and i'm still wondering until now..
couldnt get the right answer..
but note to myself..speak when silence is not doing any good :)



p/s: when telling something that person doesn't like is also mengumpat..

Emergency leave :S

ninoninonino..
err..konon.konon bunyi ambulance?
kata emergency..hehehe
okay merapu

well the super crazy nurul have become much more crazier
dengan membeli tiket pulang ke malaysia bagaikan
membeli ikan di pasar

"eh..dia ni org punya lah kumpul duit nk ke london dia balik mcm KL JB gayanya "

my abah said that..
errr..no comment..
hahaha
well this time i feel much more like a holiday
because I get to spend more time with le friendsssss
and the BF :)
oh this is why I love Malaysia.. #eh?
aci ke macam tu?
even though this is an emergency leave
still i had a great fun
but towards the end..
I feel sad...AGAIN!!!
*duh-uh..the usual lah..*


while in Malaysia..I do realize my fashion disaster thinggy
 become much more worse than before..
red with purple and handbag with sneakers..
nurul you so gonna die as a fashion disaster!!
I have no fashion sense and do intend to be the best fashion disaster..
hehehe
and every time people look at me...I feel so handsome lahh!!
*this has come to end..as fast as it can!pelisss!*
well..not attention I'm seeking
but sometimes it kinda fun..eh?
fun ke?
as long as I said so..so fun lah kan..
its my holiday so let me rule it!!
wohooo..
till next time..
much love :*


p/s: I've learn many things and the most important thing..jangan terjebak dgn permainan bodoh yg dicipta oleh orang-orang bodoh

I cried and i realised

sroot..sroott...
hingus meleleh..*lap2 dgn hujung tudung*
erkkk..tetiba teringat dkt my friend..
she used to say this

"berulat hujung tudung tu haih"

okay..credit to aisyah sofia..
everytime I said that to anyone teringat kat ayat dia..
me smile :)

I'm crying?
Yes I am..
well not so homesick *muka berlagak*
it just things does happen for a reason
which i dont seem to see the reason..YET
perhaps after thiss..tomorrow
or...next week.next month..
okay better stop now or it gonna take the whole post..
hahaha


to be seen as a bad person always not good
but in my case I choose to be seen that way..
well is not I like it but it the easiest way for me
I've cried so much for what happen
and I do make more than once promise to myself
to STOP crying for this matter but..
this tears gland doesnt seem to understand my mind
or maybe they ter-forgot the promise we made together *eh yeke?*


I'm sorry to people who might have or maybe hurt
I'll take the responsibility for what gonna happen and what had happen
Today..
I promise myself *again?*
cry as much as you want
but never let myself question for what I have
thats not gonna solve the problem but at least it can only affect me
 *cry.cry.cry*


p/s: I live my life for myself :)

word trick..

*munch.munch.munch*
gahhhh..I cant stop eating..that does mean saya di paras seteres yg amat melampau
erkkk?seteres?hmmm..what happened sampai seteres?
wondering.wondering.wondering....
ohh..my exam is 2 months away from now..
I almost ter-forgot?eh?
hahaha
am supposed to vacuum my room but
I put the vacuum besides me instead..
on my laptop..play some games..
with imaginary that the vacuum will do some work for me..
seperti tlg menyedut lemak..
okay..itu serius imiginasi semata-mata (-___-)"'
go work your ass lah lazy bum! *can't hear you.can't hear you*

WAIT!!
wasnt I suppose to be in front of my book?
or perhaps my examkit?
or..my class note?
*it can wait.it can wait* *hasutan minda jahat*

Hectic week it was..
class was 'fun' as usual..
bought my self a new pair of contact lens..
so that I can pretend i'm prettier than before..
*eh.eh.that only happen..IN YOUR DREAM!!*
as I've said..getting a bit nervous for this time exam..
*mcm lah first timer*


learn few new things about myself..
as I get stress..My maigraine wont do any justice to me..
me sad so muchyyy..
and I loss half of my deria rasa everytime I take my painkiller..
It does kill the pain and it also killing my sense of taste..
and I do hate that..
and during the migraine attack..most of the thing I did..
I wont be able to recall them..
poor me..but its okay..
with this I've learned a new thing..
which make me more malas in kelas..
hehehe


If the migraine attack during my time in class..
I turn on my recorder
and that way I can always recall what I've learn for that day
akibat fikiran jahat lebih menguasai..
good things turn out to be bad things for me..
when I'm malas to salin the notes..
I turn on the recorder and have leisure time by myself
*ish..lah**nogood.nogood*


okay..gonna sambung my drama lesson..
eh.eh.silap..my study time.. *liar.liar.liar*
till next time..


p/s: think positive cause you only live your life once!

I've learn my lesson

when the time has come..
oh I ter-forgot what I wanna write..AGAIN!
argghh..this lah I really dont like..
me seteres!! *stress*


This week was like a lonely holiday trip for myself, me and I
wasn't really a holiday trip..
more to museum trip..hmmm kot?
influenced by abang Im who know so many things
which he end up giving me some *many many time it was* story telling to me
impressed with things he told me..
I give myself a trip to 2-3 *or maybe 4?* museum..I end up spending my whole day
in the museum..
A great experience I must say
well there's to many things to explore..got myself immersed to the history
and I'm proud to say I wandered around the museum with 'baju kurung'
in which i never intend to wear even if I attend formal 'majlis' in malaysia
quite bangga isn't it? *geleng2..ish2 riak.riak*

'when you start to explore you know how little you've learned'

this word make me realize..
you only live once #YOLO
explore and learn everything before its too late
the new prinsip I give to myself


While giving myself a little present which a trip to the museum
I must say I'm bersyukur with the gift from Him
It always there but I never try to appreciate and try at least to be grateful
yesterday, I realized..It was never a kekurangan
while I was jalan-jalan inside the museum
because I was quite small compared to others they thought I was under 16
they let me to stand in front so I can learn more and hear clearer
during the hands on session they let me to see and touch the artifact before them
even during Q&A session they let me to question first before others
shouldn't I be grateful? *nod.nod*

Before..
I will get angry when they thought  I'm younger than my age
but now
I shall say..I'm grateful
credit to my size, I was given extra privilege
for most of the thing
*smile*

Happy person I was during the trip
forget all the problem
and while walking on my way back home
I give myself a free time
to think..
people can be significant and insignificant to my life
Its me up to me.,,to choose who they are in my life
Its my life after all..and I decided you're no longger significant to my life
your words are like angin yg bertiup di waktu petang
seronok..sedih..marah.. semuanya berkemungkinan
but it only gonna last for that time..during the tiupan..nothing more than that
your choice to do or say anything you wanna say
I'm gonna live my life to the fullest no matter what people think and say..
as long my parent are there for me and knows who I am
Its more than enough for me
I don't need a faker but can always be accessory to my journey of life
so that i won't get bored along the journey :)


p/s: I do forgive but I don't forget..

Up and down?

Severe breakdown I have here

After a few moment of joy

Nightmare during the day perhaps?

Can’t seem to find the way out quite for a while

Lost in the maze of my own complexion

Too much to care and too much to think

Again the migraine tag along to show my stress level above my limit

Remains to keep me reminded things have to go slow to their own pace

Painkiller stretch its arm to take me down to earth

Let the mind have a rest and let the body take a breathe

Let go everything for a while, a moment for myself I shall enjoy

Crying, mad and in the end laugh to myself

Problem solved it seems

Sunshine come and shine..

Another day to go through with the past remain as a history

Put up a smile and walk away with confident

p/s: the alarm rang already and I woke up from the imaginary world of mine